


Tampon

by Tortellini



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Established James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Character, Gay Male Character, Gay Sirius Black, Humor, Inspired By Tumblr, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Marriage, Married Life, Menstruation, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Tampons, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28535661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini
Summary: Lily Potter makes a mistake when she sends her husband to the store for her. When he brings his best friend along too, things get hilariously out of hand.Oneshot/drabble
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	Tampon

Lily Potter was patiently waiting for her husband to get home from the grocery store. Listen, he was an adult, she was sure he could handle this. And she'd bought things with him plenty of other times. 

So why was it taking this long? 

Finally, the phone rang, and she grabbed it. "Hey," she said, knowing it was James. "It's been hours, where are you?" He better not have stopped to get something else! Normally she wouldn't even be mad about something like that. I mean she loved him, after all. But this was kind of an emergency. He needed to see that.

"Lily," James said then. He sounded nervous. "I can’t find the, uh...the t-tampons you asked for and now the muggles are staring at me--"

"Ask her what size vagina she wears!"

She could've facepalmed. "You brought _Sirius Black_ with you to buy tampons with you in a muggle store."

"Hey, I thought he would be able to help me!" he said. And yep, there was a definite note of panic in his voice now. Mixed with a little bit of defensiveness. "It’s terrifying. And besides, he knows more about these--um, things."

"James he’s _gay!"_ This was too much. She should've just gone to buy them herself. She couldn't stop herself from continuing though. Hey, it's not like she was about to say anything that wasn't true. "The closest he’s ever been to a vagina is when he was born! How would he know what tampon to buy!"

"Well I mean he could--"

"He just asked what size vagina I wear!" 

"You know, she's got a point," Sirius said. 

"Okay, listen, please stop yelling," James said much more softly. "I have you on speaker phone and all the muggles are looking at me now..."

"..." Lily said. 

"...so Lily are you a small or a large?" Sirius said. 

And then she hung up on them.


End file.
